Camp NaNoWriMo has the same recipe als NaNoWriMo in november, you write a story of 50.000 words in one month. the difference between the two events is that well, one is a camp version. at camp you’ll get a cabin assigned (optional) where you will get 4-6 cabin mates to write together with. while during november you’ll sign yourself to a region and the ML organizes events for the region.
for both events the forums on NaNoWriMo.org are being used, they’ve even made a special Camp NaNoWriMo section there for the campers. but for camp, I won’t be MLing but just be another camper =3

Off to another topic, may is a terrible month for me. I’ve got four exams (luckily spread over three weeks) and the most terrible one is German. I know a lot of people say german looks like dutch, but seriously it doesn’t. true some words are alike and it may have looked like each other a few hundred years back, but really now a day it isn’t that much a like. German has an annoying grammar with the male and female for almost every word (can’t be ver specific here since my english vocabulary is failing here). you would think they could take dutch example and keep it to one word for the (translated in dutch: de).
the toher topics I have on my exams are: Art history (wich is interesting), Geography (kinda boring but still some interesting subjects) and History (wich does interest me). so German really is the toughest one for me.

some of you may know others may not, but this december The Hobbit: an unexpected Journey comes out. the thrailer looks amazing.

the song I like, and you also hear in de the trailer is the misty mountains. Its an inspirational song and it relaly gives nice and good ideas to write. I just can’t stop listening to the song. Like the Lord of the Rings movies, the The two Hobbit movies will be directed by Peter Jackson and the soundtrack made by Howard Shore.

Also I became a script Frenzy ML. it was kind of random, but I like it. the Sc ript Frenzy region is not as big as the NaNoWriMo region is, but it is still a nice region. Also, I’m determined to finish script Frenzy, since script Writing is different than novel writing. I definetly will not work at home since that obviously won’t work in the situation it is right now. I really need to get things straight as in having a part time job and a steady income. expecially with the whole school thing comming up.

Also last sunday I went to Tsunacon. It’s an anime convention in the dutch city Rotterdam. I had a fun time, and met some new faces and some old. Also, saw some people who I only knew from chatting, so it was awesome to see them in real life.

Soo, I feel kind of conflicted of late. it is kind of frustrating, and I do not feel that comfertable to spread it out all over the internet. its probably still the aftermath of my whole depressive subbel minded state I had last year. I still have this annoying voice in my head that keeps me from doing some things. It may sound childish or like I have some weird mental thing going on, or atleast it olooks like that in my head, but it does feel like that. and probably gave me the creative things I had.

I think I need to get some of the creative stuff I ddi in the past like making photomanipulations back in to my life since I honestly miss it, but it is also time consuming. I guess I’m stuck with some things on my mind, but just its hard making decicions. It’s a bad habbit of mine to postpone these things to the very last minute.

I have also been looking for an education after school. i’m thinking about doing communication and mediadesign. but need to find a place were i want to do that. Utrecht, Amsterdam or Anrhem (all in nehterlands). i’ve been looking through all locations. so I have plenty of options. just need to decide before may. Also I started planning for nanowrimo since januari. I wonder if it is to soon to start planning for nanowrimo.

I’m still scared for the summer, becuase i do not kow what will happen by then since i’m in an important period in my life right now and need to do it well, i just need to focus and do by best, and the first thing is what i lack, big time. Does anyone know how frustrating this is? i want to get this all done with. me needs money and being done with high school. i’ve been stuck here long enough so it would be nice to be done with it too.

so i’ve got a purpose for my life. atleast short time based. long time based i’ve got nothing to do decide permanently.

has anyn one ever had the problem of taking things to literary? It is a habit of mine to do so. that is probably one of the reason why i do not always get the jock well enough. i’m probably one of those figures who is to deeb ion the books to mind anything that goes putside that world. it’s a bad habit that is not easily getting rid off, especially when you are really enjoying them.

last weekend i had a first episode marathong of the winter season. the aniem I really liked was another, so I will definetly be watching out that anime. i’m pretty excited about it. the vibe and the mystery is really something I look for in an anime. I also started reading the mange dengeki daisy someone recommended it to me and right in the first chapter i was like awhh. I just wanted to hug daisy it was so cute and sweet. I’m still reading it and it is so sweet

anyway this was my post for now

the first week of new year, I have to finish my AMV contest Entry for Tsunacon. I have to send it in at january 7th, and I only have 21 seconds filled (the song is about 2:30 minutes). So I’m kind of screwed unless I work hard and maybe skip some nights to get it done. I predict bat sleeping habits the next week. but I do hope to finish it in time. Maybe I will cosplay to Tsunacon, but I’m not sure, I now just want to focus on finishing my AMV before the deadline.

the second time I posted a song in my blog, but I just love this song. I found it through an anime I watched. I definetly will try to make an AMV myself from it but first I need to get the raws for it. I want to make an AMV about Kara no Kyoukai. my video editing probably aren’t perfect yet but sure want to try.

the summary || Kara no Kyoukai

Mikiya Kokuto finds himself intrigued by two things. The first is by Shiki Ryougi a beautiful, yet rather unsociable, girl and the other is the strange series of violent deaths that start occuring in his town. As he attempts to get closer to Shiki, he soon learns that the two are connected and that there are many supernatural forces at work which could very likely get him killed as well.

I’ve only watched this movie serie until the 4rd movie. so far, I really liked it. it is a bit confusing since in the first movie you are in the present, the second movie in the past third in the present and fourth in again in the past. Although you first have a “What the hell is going on” moment, it comes clear what the story is and you see the relevance in the pattern of the movies. I Enjoyed the movies, and definetly want to see the end of the serie.

on an other note, I would like to see other things happening. I’m currently working as a temp, and I really want to get a premanent job in order to get some more money. I mean let’s face it, temps do not get paid well. they are cheap employments you can use for a day or a week, so I’ll want a permanent job on the sideline. I may look into that in the summer I think, since for now I need to get my diploma first. I really need to change my act and need to go somewere else studying instead of home since I will only get distracted there.
I need a local library or something to keep my mind focused in the thing right in front of my nose instead the cat that lies on my bed or the next anime eppisode that is comming up. I’m very easily distracted by stuff and that is why I should not be allowed to have a laptop with me when I’m studying for school.

the reason why I picked this song is not just because I liked the song, but also because I feel like I’m between two points. between my high school life and the new stuff up ahead.but lso that I’m kinda stuck here right now. if I do not make it right now, I will be stuck between two points in my life. when that is going one, I’ll be working for a year and get myself out of my parents house. then I’ll see how I will do a further education due a 21 + test we have here in the netherlands and see if I can get something through that.

anyway, today I’m free, two weeks of vacation is ahead. a nice christmas with family and new year with friends. my father got one awesome notebook from his publisher and I asked i I could have it. he said it was fine, so I’m using it now to get my writing prompts. it is nice to write in and do some stuff in it. and the thouch feels so good, and it has multiple sections were you can store notes :O its really nice. so I’ll be happy for now

for the one who read Howl’s moving castle, I seriously feel like I’m, doombed since I am the older child. in that book it is told very much how the oldest child could never perdume her fortune, and I feel it kind off is what is happening to me now. it really feels like my brother is the better one. he is younger, he has the better level of high school, he never had to be hold back a class while I failed my exams last year and had to do a year over. and really it feels like my father prefers my bgrother than me. it really sucks, I know parents probably have a favorite but with my father, it was always like your brother can do that. I’m no math wizz, and had trouble with it on grade school while brother was very good in it and my father tried to explain (but he has a strange way of explaining things) and had the argument that my brother was younger and could do it easily. I really felt bad then.
I know my father mean things well but he just does not know how to refraise things well to not hurt someone with it. he has tons of gut stuff done.

maybe I’m overreacting stuff right now, since I failed my drivers test again and feel like I have this doom cloud hanging over my head right now. I’m off watching an anime, I can really use some distraction now.

things I will change

- loose weight
- actively use an agenda to write things down
- by more active in general
- start cleaning things up (starting with my room)
- graduate high school
- get my drivers licence
- get a new phone with internet included

I need to change and I know I will. it’s just that it is ahrd to do so expecially when you are somewere you feel comfertable. I’m still frustrated with money, since I need to pay my parents back for all the money I lend from them. my mom is stil hammering me on it. and the fact that my dad is looking over my shoulder is ot helping much.

Also I need my phone back. I forgot it at a place last saturday and forgot it there. someone was so nice to pick it up for me, but now we missed eachother last wensday and I am so frustrated without a phone. like today. I had no way to get home and had to ask someone to make a call with their cellphone. I’m such a forgetful person.

so I will be posting much about my life and stuff how frustrated I am and what kind of stuff I deal with. most of them probably childisch small things.